Psychedelics are non-specific amplifiers that can bring suppressed emotions to the surface.
When someone expresses deep pain, such as the recent loss of a loved one, our instinct is often to rush in and try to “fix” their sadness. We want to offer comfort, but in our own discomfort with their pain we reach for logic or spiritual explanations that can inadvertently leave them feeling more alone.
The Scenario: “My Friend Died”
Imagine sitting with someone on psychedelics who begins to weep and shares, “My friend died recently, and I just can’t handle how heavy this feels.”
The Impulse
Many well-meaning sitters try to use logic or end up engaging in spiritual bypassing. It’s common to hear phrases like:
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “You shouldn’t be sad; they are in a better place.”
- “Don’t worry, your friend made a soul contract.”
While intended to be helpful, these statements often land as invalidation. To someone in an amplified emotional state, being told why they shouldn’t feel a particular emotion can give them the impression that their authentic experience is “wrong” or something to be suppressed.
The Zendo Approach: Through, Not Down
When supporting grief, a skilled sitter practices the principle of Through, Not Down. This means:
- Reflective Listening: Instead of giving advice, become a mirror. If they say, “It’s so heavy,” you might simply say, “I hear how heavy this feels for you.”
- Normalizing the Expression: Remind them that “it is okay to not be okay” and that crying can be a necessary release that helps the body process grief.
- The Power of Silence: Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is “make no sound and let the candles speak.” Your quiet, grounded presence acts as an anchor for their nervous system and allows spaciousness for their experience.
The Outcome: The Gift of Healing Without Being Fixed
By refraining from the urge to talk them down, you provide a rare and profound gift: the experience of being seen and heard in pain, without judgment. When someone feels that you are not afraid of their intensity, they can stop “fighting” their grief and allow themselves to move through it naturally.
Want more psychedelic sitting tips?
Sign up for our newsletter.
Have you taken our free mini course?
This mini course offers practical tools to help you stay present, grounded, and attuned while providing non-directive peer support during challenging or overwhelming moments.
Join our Zendo SIT training.
Learn from experienced clinicians with backgrounds in ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP), crisis intervention, and mental health care.
